Being Invisible Is My Superpower

I started a piece a while back about being invisible and how it seems to me that no one else has this problem. It seems that the only time I am memorable is when I am a target for some creep that won’t remember my name. That is what makes me an easy kill shot.

I will add that piece in after I clean it up. Today I went into a little dive restaurant that I will be working at because we are traveling and its called workamping for a reason. I went in, they knew I was coming, all was well. I get there I am talking to the owner and his wife. She wants me to be a server with her on nights. Perfect! If you follow my blog, or even Medium, you know that when there is an up there is always a funny story that should pull the rug out from under me and let anxiety win. Ha Ha.

I am sitting there with my freshly printed resume. Laughing setting up the schedule to be a server in this 20 seat restaurant, it is going so great. Then this girl had to be way younger than me but an adult comes running around the corner with the worst attitude. I could not have pulled one like this off if I practiced and I am good at attitude. “She can’t be a server! She won’t be able to handle the restaurant! Make her a busser, make her take drink orders, see if she can handle more than one drink!” I’m like “Cool!”

So you want to pay me and tip me out and all I have to do is run from table to table with a rag and take dishes? I’m not spilling things on people? I’m letting you mess up orders, get yelled at and all I have to do is smile and look pretty while people feel sorry for me because I am a girl who is in a stereotypical role of busser. Boy, will you be sad when my travels take me onward and you are left without an Ivy League trained busser who will go home and write about you using fake names.

So this girl had not looked at my resume, not one time. She is the owners’ daughter so I see that she has a stake in who gets hired. It looks like hiring some traveler off the street, recommended by a regular, is not this girl’s idea of a reliable option to take her shifts.

I am so good with being a busser, the problem that I have is that I don’t like being called a hot mess, or told that I can’t handle something the size of a shoebox after I have been classically trained by the best to be the best. I have nothing to prove and I am honestly just looking to have a little scratch in my pocket. Mama needs a Margarita on the sand.

It is just as bad to be judged and have people assume you are uneducated by your blond hair and accent than it is to be invisible. Below is what I started writing about how being invisible feels.

Have you ever had a wealth of ideas or brilliant thoughts, and no one around to tell? Can you be standing directly in front of someone in a large crowd of people, and the person you are standing in front of is still looking for you? This supernatural power may not be available to all living, breathing humans. Only a few of us lucky 30-somethings have managed to transverse time and space and land back in high school.

I call this ability to walk into scheduled job interviews only to be met with, “Who are you?” and “Are you sure you are in the right place?” The Shield. What is The Shield? you ask. Continue reading to find out how amazing this ability is. You might be thinking, “Wow, This does not happen!”. You would be living in a daydream of the contorted world called your reality.

Yes, this happens, to me, a lot.

I have begun to be grateful for the Universe providing me an invisible bubble that protects me from a lot of the world’s acid rain. I am not sure if I asked for this divine protection or if I am just lucky. Sometimes it feels more like a curse than a blessing. The Shield has erased my presence from places. It has made people I have worked for a year not be able to remember my name. Plans have changed in major ways, to save what’s left of my sanity.

The toll not appreciating or listening to The Shield takes on your ability to see the sunny side of life is detrimental. Knowing the difference between the Universe providing endless research time or hours of endless alone time to question your self worth depends on how much work you still need to do on yourself.

The reactionary response to repeatedly having opinions ignored begins to callous you. Questioning if you could try harder next time, taking advice from loved ones. Nope, after an extended amount of time allowed to observe if a pattern emerges you have to deal with the inevitable.

If you push people away because of a deep-rooted issue is a different complex all in itself. The Shield is like bumpers on a bowling alley. The Shield will guide you back to the manifested course. Sometimes it is a gentle loving hand. Other times it is a swift brick causing damage to your ego and leaves bruises.

When you are told to come to fill out an application for an immediate interview and you get there the guy just left for the day, even though you were a block away; The Shield. The same guy is getting into his car 3 days later and tells you to call 2 days later for your schedule; The Shield. You call to get your schedule and he tells you that he already filled the position; The Shield. He calls you back a week later with your schedule; The Shield. Yeah, I still went to the job because the other job I applied for sent me 15 emails back and forth. I walked in and no one knew who I was or why I was there.

The Shield hurts your feelings a lot of the time. Maybe it is better that way. I have not met many people who remember my name. I don’t mind being forgettable. I don’t like having to play nice while someone insults me.

Let the Adventure Begin

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