Building a Clubhouse

No one else allowed inside

Every year as soon as it grew warm we started to plan The Clubhouse.
Sometimes it would be in the woods.
(When we were old enough to cross the street alone)
Sometimes it was under the pine trees.
(When we were too young to climb any heights)

Sometimes it would be on the walk-out porch.
(When we propped cardboard walls in place to block passers-by)
Sometimes it was built of couch cushions.
(Or even stifled under blankets hung over clothesline)

What was it?
That urge to leave a home and build a nook?
A hidey-hole of damp and concrete.
No furniture, no lights.

Exclusive to just us.
And, always, a falling-out made it exclusive to just one.
Triumphant in solitary aloneness.
Everything in the perfect place to complete the solitary vision.

Crouching on the ground,
Behind the cushions, against the cardboard,
Exulting at the perfection of ruling this damp space.
Ignoring the urge that always, always, always arrived.

Come, see me here. Know me here. Look.
Pushing away the onlookers while fighting back the urge to invite them in.
Stay Out! Do Not Enter! Private property!
This means YOU!

And, quietly, softly, fearfully. questioning.
Why doesn’t anyone visit me?

Why am I alone?
Again.

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